Now, I have to admit, the title of this post is a little misleading. We are in the dog days of summer here in the Northern Hemisphere (the best hemisphere, let’s be honest), and all anyone can seem to post about on social media is how hot it is. Yes, we know it’s hot. It’s August. In 6 months, all the posts will be how cold it is and how we can’t wait for summer to come back.

This time, I’m not talking about the weather. I’m using “being cool” the other way. Fitting in, part of the in crowd, that effortless charm that all the good looking people had in my high school, being someone that women want to be with and men want to be. Being cooooool daddy-o.

My son is 13, and one of his biggest pastimes besides hockey is to try to be cool. Last time, I talked about comparing yourself to others. Let me tell you, my son compares himself to all his male classmates, what they wear, what stuff they have, how they act, how they do in school. It get’s ugly. He came up to me the other day and complained that this one kid in his class has an Apple watch and why can’t he have one too. I had to sit him down and explain the difference between want and need. He wants to be cool and imitating other’s in class seemed to him to be the path forward.

It was time for me to tell him about my past, or as my kids call it “ancient story time”.

I was not one of the rich kids growing up. I never had any name brand stuff. I always got the knock off brands. When Bass shoes were popular, I got the imitation ones that turned my feet brown. When guys wore herringbone gold chains, I got the gold plated ones that turned green. I had the knock off Izod shirts and Jams. I tried to hard on my limited budget to be like the cool kids.

It wasn’t until I was probably midway through high school that I decided that I was going to be cool my own way. Did that earn me loads of friends and heaps of admirers? Hell no. I had one good friend that I hung out with all the time, but you know, I was happy. Dorky, but happy.

When I went to college, I again decided I wanted to be cool. It was a fresh start, a new place, I could join the cool crowd. I rushed the fraternity that I percieved to be the guys that were popular. I knew a couple of them from high school who were older than me. They told me to go ahead and rush. I rushed them hard. I went to all the parties and events. I even got out there and danced some to Van Morrison’s Brown Eyed Girl. If you know anything about me, you know that dancing and the Voice Monkey, don’t mix. That’s how hard I wanted to be a part of the cool thing.

In the end, I ended up not getting invited to join.

There was another fraternity a couple of door down from the “cool” one. They were full of the mish mash of people rejected from other places. Dorks, geeks, nerds, misfits, people that others would consider strange. They played D&D, burned stuff in the firepit, worked in the computer lab and the theater. They came after me to join. No way, I said, I want to be cool. This dance when on for a while, until finally there were 4 of us that decided ok, we can join. It was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made. Those casts outs and such turned out to be (Mostly) some of the best people I’ve ever met. We were a small bunch, but we grew that chapter and ended up with a diverse group of guys. We had football players, scholars, tech wizards, alcoholics (I said mostly), ROTC members, religious and non religious types. We all worked together and accomplished great things. I’m still friends with many of those guys today. My roommate in school is still my best friend. I became popular in my own circles then. I had finally achieved that coolness I was looking for, albeit not where I thought it would be.

My point is, once you let go of your ego and realize where you truly belong, you will find exactly where you fit in.

Same goes for voiceover. There are so many people that other call “cool” or “the in crowd” that a lot of young and new talent want to get to know and be friends with because they see that as being a cool talent and being part of the club. Forget that. Find out where you belong, find out who compliments your life, not complicates it. Keep your mind open to who should be in your group and who will just leave you at the bar stood up. Find YOUR cool.